Lip Service by Ruth Sherman

07:01 am | 1 recommendation | Be the first to comment

A Stunning Leadership Vacuum

Since my topic is leadership, it is timely to comment on the goings on in the world of high finance. In addition, my base of operations is none other than Greenwich, CT, an epicenter of the disaster. Greenwich, as many know, is often described as the leafy suburb of New York City that is home to many titans of industry including several in the news this week, such as Richard Fuld, CEO of now bankrupt Lehman Brothers, as well as legions of investment bankers and corporate lawyers who count as my neighbors.

What the heck happened? Seems no one knows! Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke are making it up as they go along. SEC Chairman Christopher Cox has been asleep at the wheel as the slow-mo crisis has unfolded. President Bush almost certainly doesn’t understand it and neither do our congressional leaders. Senator Christopher Dodd, chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, and one of my senators, doesn’t seem to have a clue, though he and other senators and congressmen haven’t missed an opportunity to get themselves on TV so they can look strong, knowledgeable and in control this election season. And our pitiful presidential candidates have fared equally poorly. Senator John McCain is the ranking member and former chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, and Senator Barack Obama serves on 4 committees, none of them having anything to do with the problems at hand. Neither one of them has said anything that has inspired any confidence.

These men are supposed to be our best and brightest? Oh. My. God.

I surely don’t understand what is going on, but I have an excuse. I really want to, though. Yet not one of them or any person in a position to do so has managed to explain it to me – in terms I can understand. This shows a stunning lack of leadership and an even more alarming lack of empathy and compassion for the tens of millions of citizens whose lives are directly affected and who are being asked to shell out close to a trillion dollars to shore up the system. The WIIFM factor (what’s in it for me) is sorely missing. Oh, there is lots of dense gobbledygook and high-fallutin’ lingo that they seem to think we get. Or maybe it’s that they’re really speaking to each other, comforting each other in that Greenwich country club kind of way, the common folk on the outside looking in, noses pressed up against the window trying to steal a glimpse. Or maybe it’s on purpose, designed in some way to keep the rest of us out of the loop and off balance, confused and, thus, more likely to let these “great men” save us without having to be held to account. If that sounds like a conspiracy theory, so be it.

I’ll tell you this: Statements emanating from our so-called leaders have been disgraceful. They seem to think their insipid explanations are good enough as long as they include words like “bold” and “urgent." The paternalistic return to "trust me" is insulting. My late father would have had a phrase for all these legends in their own minds: too smart by half.

This is the very sad state of our leadership. Our great country, this exceptional incubator of ideas, supporter of innovation and nurturer of talent has been brought to its knees by a group of people with 2400 SAT scores. And I, for one, am less comforted or enthused than ever by the choices these cynical geniuses have placed before us on November 4.

 

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT

 

06:55 pm | 1 recommendation | Be the first to comment

Clinton and Palin: Women Win The Speechstakes

Boy, it's a great time to be a speech expert as well as a leading authority on political communication. And both political parties provided a great show, particularly the speeches of Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin. They each had a job to do and enormous hurdles to overcome.

Hillary Clinton had a lot of baggage going in. Her job was to convert her passionate (and angry) supporters to Barack Obama, persuade voters that she, in fact, does believe Barack Obama is the better candidate, and preserve her legacy. She succeeded on all counts. Her presence filled the room -- hell, she OWNED the room. Like her or not, she is a towering figure. Her use of the teleprompter was masterful (has she been taking lessons from Barack?). And although she was standing behind the podium, she was very physically animated; her hands, body and voice reflected the passion she was feeling. Speaking of her speaking voice, did you notice that she lowered the pitch? I sure did. This was the speech of her career and it may have saved it.

Sarah Palin was basically a blank slate going in, unless you consider the narratives the media had been constructing since her nomination was announced a few days prior. Palin's job was to introduce herself on her own (and McCain's) terms, make her opponents look weak and persuade voters she was qualified to be VP. She definitely delivered on the first two and though the jury's still out on her qualifications, through her masterful delivery, she was able to pry open the door so voters would give her their consideration. Palin looked comfortable and confident. Her voice was too high and nasal, but it's nothing a little work with a voice coach won't help. She, too, was physically animated, especially her facial expression. She looked like she was having fun. Her dress and adornment did not scream high fashion or "Hey, look at me!" but rather were consistent with the voters she's trying to attract, those so-called "hockey moms" -- and dads. Her speech was well-written and had a rhythm to it, laced with zingers and poignant family references strategically placed to keep the audience engaged. It was a game changer.

These are only two examples of the magic of speech.

Of course, the other magician in the room is Barack Obama, arguably the best political speaker of the era, who made some similar waves back in 2004 and certainly during the current campaign. But I have to say, the women -- both of them -- outdid even the great Obama this time around. In my book, they won the "speechstakes."

A great speech, beautifully delivered, is king among marketing tools. Sadly, though, so many politicians and business leaders don't do it very well. (See Joe Biden, 2008 Democratic Convention.) The good news, then, is that it's out there for you to master and reap profound benefits. After all, the pols aren't the only ones who can change their lives by giving a great speech.

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT

01:54 pm | 1 recommendation | Be the first to comment

Recession = Opportunities To Communicate

Things are tough out there. Really tough. Everyone I speak to has a story – cancelled contracts, price pressure, layoffs, disappearing clients. In my own experience, the slowdown was abrupt. Through June, I was working at capacity. I had the best first half ever. 2008 was looking to be a record year. Not. Any. More.

Hmmmm, what to do, what to do? It’s really tempting to hide. A nice, long, open-ended vacation until this thing blows over sounds perfect. Then again, maybe, just maybe it’s a good time to market, to communicate. Isn’t that what they always say? In slow times, the temptation is to cut back on marketing, on “non-essential” expenses, but all the literature argues that’s exactly the wrong thing to do. I think the literature is right.

So that’s what I’ve been doing, spending more time marketing, not less, and getting back in touch with my clients. I’m reaching out to them, taking advantage of the nice weather to pay some visits. More often than not, they have time to share a meal with me, which is quite out of the ordinary. I’m noticing that people want to talk – not complain – just talk. And I’m all ears. I love to listen, sometimes offer suggestions, but mostly, just listen, to let them know I care. In the process, I’m learning a lot about my clients, which is a very good thing. I actually realize that in our crazy, busy lives, we’ve been depriving ourselves of the human connection this type of contact provides. The retreat from face-to-face has been so gradual that I hadn’t even realized it. I’ll bet that’s true for many.

I’m also taking this “gift” of more time to get some new products and services up and running. I’ll need to have another newsletter ready to go by Labor Day. I recently developed and delivered a successful webinar and need to get the word out. People want this type of distance learning option. Gotta beef up my Facebook page and get my twitter account going. I want to be ready when the economy turns around – and it always does. On Friday, however, I’m taking a week off.

But only a week.

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT

 

08:12 pm | 2 recommendations | Be the first to comment

Music From The Heart

I’ve been learning about “el sistema,” the Venezuelan music-training program that has been offered to over 300,000 impoverished Venezuelan children.The brainchild of Jose Antonio Abreu, a Ph.D. in petroleum engineering who received musical training while growing up, el sistema, or “the system” as it is known, has been such a force for good, it’s difficult to understand why something similar hasn’t caught on here the United States.

The program reaches out to desperately poor communities and provides children with instruments and training by professionals. Lots of training. Every day after school for several hours, children as young as 2 are given lessons in rhythm, note reading and music theory. They are also given orchestra instruments and trained to play them. Right away, they are assigned to play in ensembles. The curriculum is limited to classical music.

The results have been astounding. Children who would have had dead-end lives or perhaps turned to crime are instead being turned into cultural connoisseurs. The most talented may become members of the Simon Bolivar Youth Orchestra, an elite ensemble of el sistema that tours the world.The conductor of that orchestra, Gustavo Dudamel, himself a product of el sistema, will become the music director (conductor) of the Los Angeles Philharmonic in 2009.

As every musician knows, playing music is usually a collaborative effort and as such, one learns to get along with others. Dr.Abreu views el sistema as a human rights effort. He believes it is the right of every child to know and enjoy music. I couldn’t agree more. As an undergraduate music major and former professional musician, the pleasure I gain from listening to and playing music is unsurpassed by anything else in my life. I am also reminded daily of how valuable the training has been to me in my current, non-musical career.

Could we do something like that here? Well, right now, the U.S. is cutting music and the other arts. But it’s nice to dream.

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT

 

10:57 am | 1 recommendation | Be the first to comment

Manners Matter More Than Ever

With the world as competitive as it is, and the economy uncertain at best, it should come as no surprise that we should use any and all available advantages. Having impeccable manners and understanding the rules of etiquette are critical determinants of success and key to winning people over. I do not know a single highly successful person who does not have these skills down to a science. Unfortunately, the boundaries of propriety have been eroding steadily and accelerating over the past two or three decades. The following examples may ring a bell:

• An executive who regularly returns from lunch with food spattered on his tie
• A passenger on a commuter train who is speaking very loudly on his cell phone
• An executive who walks in 20 minutes late for a meeting and sits down without a word of acknowledgment or apology
• The host of a social event who spends a disproportionate amount of time speaking to a couple of guests, virtually ignoring the other people she invited
• Audience members who talk or let their cell phones and pagers ring during a show
• Drivers who come speeding up the right shoulder to gain a couple of seconds on those who remain in lane to wait their turn and exit safely
• The telemarketer who speaks nonstop, ignores entreaties or objections, and who won’t take no for an answer
• The pedestrian who steps a few yards in front of you to be in a more advantageous position to flag down a taxi

These examples are just a very few of the hundreds, if not thousands, of incidents of rude and obnoxious behavior that occur daily and that negatively affect our quality of life not to mention the negative impact on our perceptions of the offenders.

Good manners are skills in which the lessons are best begun early in childhood. But access to these skills is free and available to anyone with the desire to upgrade and an Internet connection. Following are the my top 5 good manners that every successful person must have:

• Table manners: As alluded to above, make sure your napkin is on your lap (or over your tie), know which utensils to use, don’t talk with your mouth full and all the other lessons your mother taught you.
• Saying “please” and “thank you:” These words are like magic.
• Apologizing: When appropriate – and this may be more often than you would like to acknowledge – apologizing is an absolutely critical skill and a major differentiator in today’s unapologetic world. (Read my post on apology)
• Cell phone etiquette: No one cares what you’re doing tonight, so keep your voice down if you’re on your cell in a public place.
• Keeping promises: Nothing speaks better to the state of a person’s integrity than this. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If, for some reason, you cannot, let the promisee know.

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT

05:46 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment

Gladwell on Talent Selection

I just got back from the American Society for Training & Development’s International Conference and Exhibition in San Diego where I was a speaker. This was a great conference – one of the best I’ve ever been to and I’ve been to a lot of them both as an attendee and as a speaker – 8,000 professional development pros from all over the world. I learned a tremendous amount and met some wonderful new and interesting people and sold and signed a lot of my books.

Malcolm Gladwell was one of the keynoters. Gladwell, the author of mega-bestsellers The Tipping Point and Blink will be releasing his new book, Outliers, in November. One aspect of Outliers is Gladwell’s take on how we evaluate and develop talent. As this was a speech to ASTD, he naturally focused on this aspect and told us about some of the eye-opening stuff he had found as he was researching and writing this book.

Gladwell feels that we as a society and particularly our business community have swung in favor of favoring and developing talent that he terms “precocious.” These are the people who do eye-popping, paradigm-busting things very early in their careers, in their 20s or even younger. By virtue of bursting onto the scene early, these people are noticed by higher ups and quickly move up the ladders of success. They receive more attention, more support for their ideas and much, much more encouragement in the hope that they will continue turning out groundbreaking work.

The other type of talent Gladwell says exists is talent that takes time to develop. These people don’t necessarily do amazing things early. Instead, they are cautious, they work steadily and slowly, carefully, painstakingly honing their skills until finally they achieve mastery. (“Mastery” is one way Gladwell describes this second type of talent.) Because their talent requires more effort and time to uncover, these talented people are not favored in today’s fast-moving business culture, and instead of being developed, nurtured and promoted, they are routinely ignored.

Gladwell then goes on to make the case that we ignore the mastery type of talent at our peril and uses Picasso and Cezanne as examples of precocity and mastery, respectively. As a cautionary tale, he shows that Picasso’s paintings done when he was in his 20s sell for about 4 times the price that paintings done in his later years sell for. But here’s where mastery trumps precocity: Cezanne’s paintings done when he was in his 50s and 60s sell for 15 times the price of those done when he was in his 20s.

Other examples he outlines are instructive. In using intelligence tests to choose quarterbacks, the NFL has regularly missed out on identifying the best and in fact, some of the greatest quarterbacks scored low on these tests. The University of Michigan Law School looked at lawyers who had been admitted under its affirmative action program and found that 10 years out, those attorneys were much more involved in serving their communities than the law students who had been admitted because of top LSAT scores and grades. We think we know how to identify talent, but we really don’t. Or we go about it in all the wrong ways.

The model in hiring and professional development that selects for precocity as opposed to mastery does not serve business well, or its workers. It misses a lot of people who have great value to add and whose painstaking efforts, like Cezanne’s, to perfect and master their work produce results that return much more value in the long run. Something to think about.

And Gladwell was a great speaker, too.

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT

10:17 am | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment

"Sweetie" And Sibling Terms: Never OK In Business

The dust-up over Barack Obama’s calling a reporter “sweetie” seems to have died down. So it’s a good moment to discuss what it means when diminutive forms of address are used in business and professional contexts.

I admit when I first saw the report, I was disturbed. When I was getting my masters in communication, a significant portion of our studies was devoted to gender issues and differences in communication. The long-held habit of addressing women not by name, but by a diminutive substitute and belief that such speech was harmless was being researched and written about by excellent and highly-respected writers (Tannen, Gilligan, Borisoff, Johnson, etc.). The fundamental premise of this writing was that this type of address is, in fact, harmful, a way to diminish women and their achievements, to keep them in their place and paid less than men doing the same jobs. Even today, no serious and informed person believes women have achieved parity with men in the workplace and such speech is a contributing factor in women’s ability to be taken seriously in professional life. (Doubters take note: Women earn about 77 cents to every dollar men earn. So far, in 2008, only 24 women make the list of CEOs of the Fortune 1000.)

I saw this quote from an article in Salon showing the discussion has been going on for a long time:

The idea that a professional woman might be taken aback by being called an infantilizing or feminizing diminutive is not a news flash. There is a scene from "Tootsie," a movie made more than 25 years ago, in which Dustin Hoffman's cross-dressing character, a man, assesses the differences in how men and women are spoken to in professional situations. As Hoffman, dressed as his female alter ego Dorothy Michaels, tells a chauvinist boss, "I have a name. It's Dorothy. It's not Tootsie or Toots or Sweetie or Honey or Doll ... Alan's always Alan, Tom's always Tom, and John's always John. I have a name too."

There isn’t enough space or time to go into it in much more detail here, and I invite and encourage readers to do their own reading and research. Basically, however, when it comes to business, the rule of thumb is this: if you are a man, do not call women by any type of diminutive name that you wouldn’t use on another man. So words like babe, doll, hon, darlin, and, yes, sweetie, are out.

The reasons for it are simple; using these words in a professional context have nothing to do with endearment and everything to do with entitlement and who holds the reins of power. And using terminology like this is especially fraught if the man is the boss. In such cases, extra care must be taken because repeated use can lead to charges of harassment or hostile work environment. That it’s just a “habit” and “I didn’t mean anything by it” are irrelevant.

Women bosses should be careful, too, when addressing men. Hon, darlin, babe, son and, again, sweetie, can also be wielded inappropriately. But, the fact is that my admonition is intended mostly for the male ears of the gender divide.

Unless the speaker and the “sweetie” in question are romantically linked, there is no place in the workplace for such forms of address. Besides, it’s so yesterday.

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT

05:08 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment

Don’t Get Caught Long -- Use SALES

I was working with a team of technology professionals yesterday and turned them onto my tool, SALES. I designed SALES to help clients quickly organize their thoughts so if they found themselves having to report on something quickly, they could do it easily.

SALES stands for

State your main message (objective)

Add key points

List benefits

Examples, stories, metaphors, etc.

Summarize and specify next steps

For fun, here’s what SALES might look like if you were leading a meeting at your company on the topic of offering lunch to employees as a new perk:

S: I think we should provide lunch to the employees.

A: People are going out to lunch and it’s taking well over an hour. Also, because they have to drive, it increases the energy usage of our employees and we’re trying to encourage conservation.

L: There are a lot of benefits: It will keep people at their desks more, they’ll be more productive, it’ll increase morale and help us to hire the best and brightest as well as aid retention, we’ll be able to provide healthy foods and it’ll limit employees’ energy consumption.

E: Google does it and look at them.

S: If you agree, I’ll look into caterers and get some prices and you can mull it over. We can meet again next week to see whether we should proceed.

If you really need something in a hurry, just use S-L-S – no vowels. SALES is especially useful for that dreaded moment when you’re stuck in the elevator with your boss and s/he wants a quick update or status report. It’s also great for email and voice mail.

Works like a charm every time.

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT

07:39 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment

Jenna Bush Makes Parents Look Good

I was watching Larry King last week and happened to catch the segment with guests Laura and Jenna Bush. They were there promoting their new children’s book, Read All About It. I haven’t really followed the Bush children. Except for the news stories over the years when they were doing their teenage acting out, there really hasn’t been much coverage. It’s restricted and that is as it should be.

So I was surprised at how disarmingly charming Jenna Bush was. She wasn’t smooth or slick. She didn’t even seem media-trained (and that’s something I know a lot about) though she certainly does have a good mentor in her mother in that regard. A giveaway was that during the interview, her eyes frequently darted to the goings on about the studio, while her head remained pointed toward Larry King. Yet, when it was her turn to speak she seemed comfortable. She was clearly passionate about her topic – the book is about a boy who hates to read – and her career. Following in her mother’s footsteps, Bush is a teacher. She was (mostly) poised and even initially used the honorific, “Sir,” when addressing Larry King.

That led me to thinking: what does this communicate, not only about this young woman, but also about her parents? To raise a child in this day and age is a huge challenge. To do it with the constant media scrutiny and klieg light glare that are continuously trained on the White House, seems nearly impossible. Yet, all the children that I have observed growing up in such challenging circumstances have turned out well. Lest anyone feel sorry for her, however, Ms. Bush was sure to note how extraordinarily advantaged she is.

Despite how I may feel about the job the President is doing, he has done well in this one, very important area. Of course, it seems safe to assume Mrs. Bush has done most of the heavy lifting. Still, there is a father in the house and it does say something quite positive about him. It's something he can use right about now.

Jenna Bush reflects well on her parents. While it would be crass to label the raising of a successful child as just another tool in the toolkit, you take these kinds of “compliments” where you can get them.

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT

 

 

01:41 pm | 1 recommendation | 2 comments

Welcome Back, Comma.

I have noticed that the lowly comma is making a return to written communication. I have missed it terribly over the past several years and so it is good to see it back.

I had always wondered why it got lost. In asking friends and colleagues about it, people would almost brag about not using them, saying they cluttered things up or were old-fashioned. I would disagree vociferously, taking the position that commas make reading easier.

The decline of the comma is due in large part to the absence of teaching of grammar and punctuation during the past 20 years (at least). My kids do not know the parts of speech – what an adverb or prepositional phrase is, not to mention a subordinate clause. And they have attended very good schools. I can clearly remember that by 5th grade, we 10-year-olds could diagram a sentence. (What is that, you ask? See here for an explanation.) Diagramming was a great way to learn to make sense of the complexities and logic of written language.

Another reason is the lowering of standards of written communication due to the reliance on email, IM, and text.

Anyway, in honor of its return and as a way to encourage the Fast Company community to keep the comma coming, following are some of my favorite rules for comma usage:

1. To separate components in a series: “John wanted salad, chicken, and macaroni for dinner.” Note that I even included a comma before “and.” It has become optional but is actually useful if I were to say instead of “macaroni,” “macaroni and cheese.”
2. In sentences beginning with because or although: “Because it was raining, Brad brought an umbrella.” “Although it was raining, Brad decided not to bring an umbrella.”
3. Sentences starting with prepositional or adverb phrases: “When she tried to open the door (adverb phrase), she couldn’t.” “Before you leave (prepositional phrase), turn off the lights.”
4. To avoid confusion: “Outside, the light was brighter than he expected.”

There is one more reason to be hopeful about the comeback of the comma: The SAT now tests grammar to some extent. They call it the “writing test,” but it’s really copy-editing with lots of questions about grammar, punctuation, and placement. And we all know that when the tests test, the schools teach.

By the way, I’m no grammar expert; I just like it when writing is easy to read and digest. Or maybe I’m just an old-fashioned girl.

Ruth Sherman • Ruth Sherman Associates LLC • High-Stakes Communications • Greenwich, CT