Image and Identity - Repping for a Successful You by Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
August 8, 2008
09:10 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment
I am a little morbid. I often wonder what my funeral would be like. Who would come and what would they say? But it wasn’t until recently that I thought about what I WANT them to say. What type of person do I want to be remembered as? What legacy and reputation do I want to leave behind?
You know I am a big proponent of ‘Mapping’ so I thought it would be a great idea to write what type of person we want to be remembered as then work backwards. We should write our eulogy…no…our ‘YOU’logy! Hahahaha…I am so funny!
Anyhoo, Think about it. What speech do you want given at your funeral? What accomplishments, memories, character traits? Whatever it is we want, we should acknowledge it, write it then live it! Simple, huh?
I JUST thought about writing my ‘YOU’logy, so I am just as new to it as you are… Here is mine:
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards was a burst of positive energy. She brought joy and laughter with her vibe to many. She was an inspiration to the youth she worked closely with and her Foundation will continue to assist those in need.
She has started several successful organizations as a result of her out -of -the box thinking and has left an indelible mark as an entrepreneur, a wife, a friend, daughter, sister…a citizen of this earth. She has written several inspiring books that will continue to touch lives.
Her strength of character, academic achievements and entrepreneurial success are inspirations to many in this generation and the next.
There it is. As you can see, I have a lot to accomplish, so I gotta go! Not gonna get all this done sitting around here. What will your ‘YOU’logy read?
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
www.paulayeesing.com
12:54 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment
I love to read. I read books about networking, building positive self and business images; about the Laws of Attraction and the power of positive thinking…the “SECRET”. Literally hundreds (maybe thousands) of dollars have been spent by me to fill my mind with words of wisdom from DVD-creating, book-signing, keynote speaking, Masters-bearing, PhD-titled authors. Companies have paid billions to train staff in customer service, branding and motivation. According to Johns Hopkins Institute of Policy Studies; Federal Government paid between $3.2 billion and $5.3 billion in 2002 on job training. States spent another $500 million to $700 million and Businesses spent considerably more on training than the federal and state governments combined – between $8 and $17 billion.
While showering the other day I was reflecting on these things and thought: I could have been making millions off Grandma!!!! The things Grandma tried to ingrain in me while growing up are exactly what I am paying thousands to study and companies are paying billions to teach… I can see it now…”Grandma’s Secret to Networking and Customer Service”.Think about it. Didn’t your Grandma teach you to sit up straight, speak properly, dress well, smile, avoid confrontation, think positively?.... Isn’t that the basis of the teachings of our favorite motivational speakers and business gurus? My Grandma surely taught me those rules. She was strict about it too…Diddy can’t hold a candle to her boot camp (Hmmm… “I Want To Work For Grandma”?…VH1 Holla!).
Why didn’t I think of archiving all her wonderfully wise words? As I read more and more about networking, the art of conversation, first impressions, body language and customer service, the more of grandma’s words I recall. Review these translations of Grandma’s words and tell me what you think!
GRANDMA: Always smile so you don’t look grumpy
TEXT BOOK: Always smile
GRANDMA: Say “good morning” when you meet someone
TEXT BOOK: Greet customers as they enter the office, store…
GRANDMA: Don’t forget to thank the persons who invited you to the party
TEXT BOOK: Always thank your host at the end of an event
GRANDMA: Stop ‘dwelling’ on the negative
TEXT BOOK: Think positive and you will attract good
GRANDMA: Mind the company you keep- Birds of a feather…
TEXT BOOK: Your success is the average of your 5 closest friends
GRANDMA: Say hi! Say hi to the pretty lady…(in baby voice)
TEXT BOOK: Network, network, network- Be a great conversation starter.
GRANDMA: Speak properly
TEXT BOOK: Communication is key
GRANDMA: Sit up; don’t slouch
TEXT BOOK: Posture and body language are important factors in networking
GRANDMA: Always wear clean underwear!
TEXT BOOK: Proper attire is important in making a good impression
Ok…the last one was definitely put there for a chuckle, BUT IT IS TRUE!
Next time you read a book or sit through a seminar on customer service and networking, remember where you heard it first… from Grandma, the guru!
Hope you enjoyed reading this was...it sure was fun writing it!
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
www.paulayeesing.com
02:54 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment
Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and all other networking sites are absolutely terrific and a BIG tool for marketing and networking. Since the boom of these websites, the art of conversation and direct ‘human’ interaction have been lost. It’s kinda like when we started storing phone numbers in cell phones and could no longer remember people’s numbers on our own. Before cell phones, I could reel off anyone’s number without hesitation; alas, my brain no longer logs these in. Hmm…maybe that’s just me. But I digress…
The art of networking in person is almost dead. Even the most skilled of minglers need to make an effort to have face to face conversation after a few years of ‘networking-made-easy’, courtesy of the cyber age.
Thank goodness for self-help books such as How to Work a Room by Susan RoAne. I just finished this great read which I rate as well written and pertinent in this age where networking, image and branding are the core of any and every business.
The author starts out by identifying the 5 reasons (”Roadblocks”) resulting from our socialization, that prevent us from communicating freely and comfortably with strangers. Our mother ingrained in us to :
- Not talk to strangers
- Wait to be properly introduced
- Not be pushy
- Be better safe than sorry
- Avoid mixed messages
Susan RoAne addresses each individual issue and suggests real solutions for overcoming these roadblocks.
In my blog post, “You Had Me From Hello”-Work your Network!! , I related a story about using RoAne’s tips from the book to create a positive lasting impression on the hosts and fellow guests at an event I attended with my husband. Since then, I have continued to utilize the book to create strong business and personal contacts. RoAne stresses the fact that networking shouldn’t be a task…it should be natural and fun! So after reading the book I didn’t feel like a student about to take a life-changing examination; instead I felt excited and energized to try the suggestions.
How to Work a Room explains the importance of the perfect handshake, active listening, how to gather great conversation starters, how to leave a great first impression, the essence of never leaving our business cards (EVER!) and so much more…. My question is…How did she cover so many issues in one book!?
The author’s style is a combination of humor, anecdotes, comic strips and stories from her own life to make the book entertaining as well as educational. Every chapter brought a chuckle (yea…I got some strange looks on the train).
Anyone who has to attend a reunion, a trade show, give a speech before a crowd, go to the gym, walk your dog in the park….pretty much go anywhere…this is a great read to help you on your way to developing your communication skill or honing your already adept socializing dexterity. Of course, Susan RoAne wisely and succinctly tackles the etiquette to be used in “cyber rooms” and “techno toy” rooms, addressing the proper use of emails, cell phone and PDAs.
This is evidence that the book is great: No one is as shy as my husband with whom I am in business and he has used the tips to work a room…even I am impressed! My job as his spokesperson and official event crutch may be in grave jeopardy (thanks a lot Susan!…Kidding!!).
RoAne ends the book by outlining the 10 Commandments of Communication which sum up the topics covered:
Thou shalt prepare
Thou shalt attend
Thou shalt try strategies
Thou shalt say something…anything
Thou shalt mind their manners
Thou shalt avoid common crutches
Thou shalt remember the 3 E’s – Effort, Energy, Enthusiasm
Thou shalt dress appropriately
Thou shalt remember the 3 C’s- Courtesy, Charm, Chutzpah
Thou shalt bring thy sense of humor
How to Work a Room by Susan RoAne is a great read with great communication pointers. Pick it up and start connecting again!!
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
www.paulayeesing.com
03:00 pm | 1 recommendation | Be the first to comment
So I am sitting here at my desk writing my September map. Yea… “writing” my map… I have to, without it I am like a headless chicken going blindly in circles. I refer to myself as a Jane of All Trades and ‘Work-In-Progress-Master of Most’ (if not all). At any given time I have countless ideas swirling around my mind…like noise…mental noise. Every time I had a thought I began to pursue it and neglect the former idea I was pursuing. This resulted in a lot of half-completed plans and half way achievements. Not good. I had to think of a way to control my ideas and bring each of them to fruition in a sensible fashion and stop wasting energy and time chasing every thought.
According to a study by the Ford Foundation:
• 23% of the population has no clue what they want from life and as such, they have very little.
• 67% of the population has a general idea what they want out of life, but no clue how to attain it.
• 10% of the population has specific goals
• Only 7 out of that 10 achieve their goals half the time
• The top 3% achieved the goals 89% of the time
The difference between the 3% elite group and the rest was: THEY WROTE DOWN THEIR GOALS!!! Can you believe it? Sounds too simple, right?
But it kinda makes sense, doesn’t it? Goal-setting is like a map - it guides us to our destination, allowing us to have a bird’s eye view of the route. We can avoid time-wasting dead ends and detours. Dreams and wishes become goals when they are written; in some strange way writing them down materializes them and makes them probable. I like the phrase “dreams with a deadline” which I have heard used to describe goals.
These are tips to creating my maps for success:
• Get a calendar as visual aid; the mind tends to follow what is in front of it.
• Set aside an hour a day to plan. Force yourself into the habit.
• Work backwards- Focus on your long term goals and decide what short term activities will lead to your long term target.
• Plan tomorrow the night before- While you sleep, your mind will organize your time. I have a white board by my desk that I write my daily tasks on. Then at the end of the day I erase the accomplished ones and leave the undone ones for the next day. Of course the aim is to erase them all!!!
• Start the day with a mental run-down of your agenda. Then just do them! Walk with an idea notebook to jot anything that comes to mind.
• Of course keep in mind that there may be obstacles. Plan for these proactively and not re-actively. Just steer around the obstacles and keep on moving.
• Reward yourself when you achieve your goals. Give yourselves mini-incentives to go even further. But if course don’t waste time patting yourself on the back for too long…there is still lots to do!
Anyhoo my friends, I am going back to my mapping! See you at the finish line of success!
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
www.paulayeesing.com
04:12 pm | 2 recommendations | 1 comment
I am a fan of Sean “Puffy” “Diddy” Combs. I admire what he has accomplished as an entrepreneur and a mogul in the various industries spreading from music and entertainment into the fashion and beverage industries (Ciroc). One the most looked forward to ‘Diddy event’ for me is his reality TV shows and no doubt his latest “I Want to Work For Diddy” on VH1 is choc -full of entertaining moments, educational moments and thought provoking moments.
The show is about young men and women vying for the post of personal assistant to Puffy. Of course week to week they will be faced with incredulous challenges and seemingly ridiculous tasks which, stupendous as they seem, are the reality of the entertainment business. I can definitely see how working for Diddy can prepare you for a job working for anyone and anything. The Government should consider a ‘Diddy Bootcamp’ for privates in the army as a mandatory training course (Hey! Don’t forget you got the idea here Sean!).
I can’t help but to notice that Sean Combs’ presence comes with extreme intimidation in his underlings and expectants. I would describe my leadership method as Participative, where I get involved with my team and work alongside them to encourage and build a positive rapport and hence improve self confidence in job performance and productivity. Diddy, on the other hand uses an Autocratic style.
Does this style of leadership work? Hmmm… I can go on and on and speak against this method, claiming that putting down employees and intimidating them lead to them continually questioning their abilities and compromising productivity. But does it really? Diddy seem to produce very efficient individuals prepared for the harsh industry; many of whom have gone off to create successful companies after learning under the ‘Diddyship’. What then can I say about his intimidating presence? It seems to work!
I worked at Go West, official distributor of Guess? apparel in Jamaica and I never forget Ms Pessoa. Once her car pulled into the parking lot we all had to be BUSY. If there were no customers, no unfolded shirts, no crooked hangers, WE MADE SOME! We had to create work because no one should be idling at any time. I believe that though it was intimidation, there was deep respect; we kept the place up to the high standard demanded by her and at no time did we feel we could drop the ball and become lackadaisical. Her methods were successful! Go West was and still is known for its atmosphere and air of exquisiteness.
On the opposite end, I have seen instances where managers or supervisors try to develop an atmosphere of equality and friendliness which resulted in disrespect and subsequent discord. The worker begins to feel he needn’t to stand by the hard and fast rules of the company and sometimes try to progressively break more to see what he can get away with in the presence of the supervisor. At that point, if the manager or supervisor tries to reprimand the employee, the relationship is adversely affected.
I am led to believe that leadership styles are directly proportional to who is being ‘led’. Those under the autocratic ‘Diddicratic’ method need to be tough, strong, and (somewhat subservient at the same time) and is not discouraged by shame and intimidation. The Participative and Laissez Faire leaders have employees who are self sufficient, confident, and who acknowledge and embrace the distinction among roles in the hierarchy of the company.
What is the best leadership method? What method brings out the best in employees and results in highest level of productivity?
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
YaadNoyz Magazine
YaadNoyz Production LLC
July 7, 2008
10:11 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment
As I mentioned in my previous blog, there are numerous outlets where we can network. It needn’t be confined to events prescribed for networking and corporate mingling. We can meet people who can have positive impact on our lives personally, spiritually or business-ally (hehehe) anywhere we conduct our day to day tasks: the gas station, the gym, the park, the train, the bus, a cousin’s- friend’s- child’s birthday party… All that is needed to network are confidence and willingness to approach others or be approached.
What can make it easier is a conversation starter; that quip or question or statement that invites a response and perhaps creates dialogue and VOILA!!!...we have networked.
Conversation starters are situational…opportunistic even. If a situation arises that gives us the opportunity to start a conversation, then we do it. If a person is standing next to us (within ear shot) in a train or by the bar at the party, these are examples of opportunities for conversation. If the person we want to meet is across the room, we position ourselves within that person’s circle to make a conversation possible.
Of course, let me be very clear that we only start conversations when we truly want to; not because we are being ‘forced’ to or ‘we guess we should do it for our business ’. The insincerity will be obvious and will rather leave a negative or false impression of us, let alone our business.
I thought I would list a few starters that I have used and some that I researched. Remember, let the question FIT the situation aptly (or at least contrast with it tastefully or humorously).
· Wow! It’s hot today! Was it this hot yesterday?
(Yea yea..you KNOW it was hot yesterday, but they don’t know YOU know!)
· What a great event. The music is blazing and people are having a great time. This was really well planned
(This is especially great with the PLANNERS of the party!)
· That dress is hot on you or That is a realllllly nice dress or I love that shirt.
(of course, if it is true. And with this- we don’t want to sound like we are flirting. So choose the statement that gives the least mixed signals)
· Did you hear about the earthquake in LA?
(If they heard- allow them to speak about it. If they didn’t- offer info you have)
· You guys make a beautiful couple. How long have you been together?
There are too many to list, but I hope this was helpful or at least inspiring to go get ‘em! Now go forth and network!
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
YaadNoyz Magazine
YaadNoyz Production LLC
www.yaadnoyzmagazine.com (coming soon)
06:22 pm | 2 recommendations | Be the first to comment
By now everyone knows that networking is the core of any entrepreneurial venture; Networking is marketing and marketing is key in promoting yourself, a service or product. Image and reputation (-thanks David Mullings) play powerful roles in the success (or lack) of any business. What is often forgotten is the fact that we don’t need to attend ‘networking’ functions and conferences to do so. We can interact and market in our day to day goings-on. The gym, the gas station, the bank, the supermarket, a child’s party are great untapped sources of contacts, customers, consumers and patrons.
I have always been a socialista; as a child I somehow knew the power of having certain contacts. I remember tugging at my dad’s shirt compelling him to introduce me to any police officer I saw anywhere…for some reason I believed I would need to have them as close friends (hmm..What was I thinking I would need them for??). It was the same for just about any professional, as I walked with a ‘contacts notebook’ to jot numbers…was so cute…I was like 10!
But this weekend, after reading “How to Work a Room” by Susan RoAne, I decided to go steps further with my networking. As a guest at a sweet 16 for the daughter of a friend of a friend - my friend’s grandparents could no longer attend, so my husband and I were the replacements. We were 2 of 4 black persons in a mostly Jewish circle and I thought to myself “self….let’s put our reading into practice!”
I took my friend’s mom’s hand and we took over the dance floor. Soon my husband joined in and we got others involved too. People were rooting for us and asking us to show them our dance moves etc; complimenting my husband and myself on what a great couple we seem to be…
I saw a couple on the dance floor make their way to the bar (open bar yipeeee) I followed so as to strike up a conversation. We chatted for a bit about their 28 year marriage, their kids, exchanged introductions and bingo…I left my mark. Similarly, I greeted the hosts (the parents) and commended them on an awesome event during the party and on our departure. I circled the room and shook hands with the people at most tables and met other professionals present at the event.
Yesterday I got a call from my friend who invited us informing me that we were the talk of the party and “everyone is still talking” about the awesome couple. There is now an open invitation to any event the family is hosting!
The point is…even those of us who think we have the keenest networking skills…with a CONSCIOUS effort to do more, we can make marketing magic! I did not market my upcoming online magazine, YaadNoyz Magazine, since it is still in the works, but I laid a foundation to chat business in the future.
Make eye contact today with someone and spark up a conversation..watch it work magic for your business life or even your personal life! Tomorrow I will discuss a few of my “conversation-starter-uppers”. Talk about the weather, the gas price, the color of her dress…be honest and confident and leave your mark. You can have them at hello!!!
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
Image & Identity Consultant
YaadNoyz Magazine
YaadNoyz Production LLC
02:40 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment
One of the services offered by the company I am soon to launch includes conflict resolution in and out of the workplace. Here are some tips to resolving issues from the stance of the involved party or the one responsible for resolving them.
FACTORS TO CONSIDER
It is impossible to address every possible conflict that may arise among individuals within an organization; but there are several basic things to consider when faced with such conflicts.
· What is the real issue(s) – Are they work related or personal? Approach accordingly. If the feelings are personal, encourage the individuals to find methods of separating those feelings from the mission of the organization and focus on the goal at hand.
· Are we making a mountain out of a molehill? - Does the situation warrant the aggression and discord resulting from it? Can it be handled calmly and quickly without reducing productivity?
· How old are you? – Yes...this must be asked, because conflicts often bring out the temper- tantrum throwing child in the person. Child labor laws do not allow children to be employed in the position, so individuals are NOT expected to behave like children. Address the situation in a mature, civil, ADULT way.
· Remember the aim--- to do well at your job. Fighting and sabotaging another individual does not benefit you in any way. It decreases your worth as an asset to the company and certainly doesn’t add money to your salary. Doing well at your job brings honor and a sense of pride…all healthy for your body mind and spirit.
DEALING WITH THE CONFLICTS
· Be slow to anger- Bringing that emotion to the situation only worsens it and not resolve it. It puts the other party on the defensive. If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb
· Be indirect in stating errors or mistakes- This lowers the defensive walls and allows the next part to see your side. A person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. -Samuel Butler
· Remind the parties of the main goal of the organization- This creates a common ground
· Be open to apology- Graciously accept apologies and be more gracious in giving them if you are wrong.
· Show your human side- Let the part know when you have been wrong or made similar mistakes, this makes you more relatable to the situation.
· Close the case- Heal the situation to remove all negative personal feelings which may result if dealt with poorly. Encourage comradeship and oneness.
Paula Yee Sing-EdwardsYaadNoyz Production LLCwww.myspace.com/yaadnoyzwww.myspace.com/paulayeesing
02:19 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment
When I wake in the morning, I plan for a good day. My anticipation attracts good experiences to me.
(adapted)
Do you believe in the laws of attraction? Your thoughts, energy, words and actions attract a certain type of people, event, success, failure...destiny. What destiny are you attracting to yourself?
You empower things with your mind and your words, so be mindful today of what you give power to.
Give power to love, success, hope, peace, unity. Give thanks continually to God for each blessing. See the good in people, in trying situations..... See the BIG difference this new outlook makes on your entire being and your destiny.
Nuff Love always,
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
President
YaadNoyz Magazine
www.myspace.com/yaadnoyz
09:53 pm | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment
This is for all you..er...us... procrastinators.
Goal-setting is a vital step in getting ahead and developing personally or professionally. Setting 'finishing points' is easy.....getting them done is HARD!!!
I am a born planner. I wish I had a job where I could organize everyone's life, schedule, future... BUT, very few things do I actually accomplish. Why? I procrastinate! I feel so good after making the perfect plan, I spend forever patting myself on the shoulder, and planning more. But what is the use in having well made plans if we fail to execute them?
This has been a serious problem in my life. So I have recently made adjustments to improve my goal execution.
My plans are always written; I actually keep an idea book, where I make notes when I brainstorm or I list things I want to accomplish in life, for the year, the month, the week, the day...you get the idea... I WRITE everything.
Next, I set deadlines (I work best under pressure...even is self inflicted!) to achieve these and outline how I am going to go about it. Everyday I do something-no matter how small- towards achieving the goal...then I 'tickie' it!!! YES...TICKIE (ticky?...sticky? however we splelt it in school). It is a great feeling to put a check mark at things we planned to accomplish; it gives a sense of satisfaction and moves us a step closer to our finish point.
Now, as a procrastinator, getting the listed things done is a task, so I have to train myself (boot camp styleee). I tend to start things and finish, so since I am aware of this problem I make a concentrated effort to complete. I set small seemingly mundane goals. For example, at the gym on the treadmill I will set it for 15 mins and by 12 or 13 mins I figure I could stop to begin another workout. BUT in Paula's bootcamp I have to stick it out and complete the 15 mins- my goal.
If I am reading a book, I set a goal to complete certain chapters and I do not stop until I finish the goal.
Slowly I am seeing evidence of progress...even in maintaining the writing of these notes and blogs, I am like that old-ish Jamaican Festival Song (Mi Stop, Mi Go, Mi Stop...mi stop, mi go, mi stop, mi go....stop and gooooooooo)-pardon the corniness, I can't help it!
So...us partial doers...sufferers of Adult ADD (Adult Attention Deficit Disorder)...let's work on it together and get stuff done.
Hoping you had a fabulous and productive day,
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
YaadNoyz Production LLC
YaadNoyz Magazine (coming soon!)
