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May 13, 2008

8:07 am | 2 recommendations | 4 comments

Are You Perpetually Exhausted?

| posted by Donna Karlin

Are you ignoring that exhaustion, telling yourself you’ll take some time off in a month or so?  In the meantime how are you able to effectively lead if you’re too tired to process everything that’s going on around you?

If you don’t manage your energy, it doesn’t matter how you might manage your time as you are not processing what you need to nor are you mentally retaining what’s happening.  Leadership is more than an organizational position; it’s leading your people in a way that they and the organization can move forward.  If you’re exhausted, your mental capacity is diminished and you are not leading, you’re hanging on to the status quo hard enough so you don’t fall.

People are working longer and harder in an increasingly competitive world.  Not only are the demands on them often unrealistic, but add in dynamics of multiple time zones for companies with offices around the globe, the increasing use of technology i.e. BlackBerry and other handhelds, cell phones and pagers, and staff end up working longer hours and more days.  With their handhelds even when they’re not at work they’re at work, and people are burning out.  Another part of the equation is those who are burning out are the high achievers who want to be in the middle of everything as it unfolds and don’t want to miss a trick.  Those who are poor performers are out the door at exactly the end of the defined work day, don’t bother with their handhelds and therefore don’t burn out.  Bottom line is, who is left holding the fort when the talent is off on sick leave?

You got it.  It’s the ones you don’t want to be running the show.

There are many facets to energy; physical, mental and emotional.  Each of them separately can deplete us.  Two or more can seriously affect our health and well being.  When we ignore the signs of fatigue and push ourselves, our health begins to break down.  For those in positions of organizational leadership it’s paramount to be aware of energy vampires so you’re always on top of your game. Leaders need to set an example and keep a finger on the pulse of where their people are with respect to burn out rates and overall health. People are your most valuable asset. 

When technology breaks down you fix it immediately.  Why is it many organizations wait until a red flag goes up and needs ‘fixing’ when it comes to their people?  Yes, people don’t just break and shut down.  As a leader you have to be three steps ahead and recognise the telltale signs of burnout. Trends are showing burnout is at epidemic proportions. 

There is a fundamental difference between stress and burnout.  Stress is having too much to do, too many demands, too many people wanting a piece of you.  Still when you’re stressed you still feel as if you have some control over the outcome and if you “get one or two things under control, things will be fine”.  Burnout however is when you feel depleted of energy, choice, no longer care about anything and become lethargic, barely treading water and close to drowning.

When you’re at the point where you throw your hands up in the air and say “I don’t care any more” it’s time to stop, take stock of where you and ask yourself  “Am I living a life I truly love or am I just trying to survive day after day?”  If it’s the latter choose someone to be your reality checker; someone to help you reconfigure your priorities and a way to make them happen.  Only when you feel you’re taking steps towards changing the status quo will you be able to get out of that funk, burnout or breakdown.

But do yourself a favor and don’t wait until you get to that point.  Pick a reality checker now who will give you the feedback you need.  No matter what your position in your organization you can’t function or be of any good to anyone. That applies to work and at home.

“We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have --- for their usefulness.” - Thomas Merton 

So before you move into auto-pilot mode and jump into everything, ask yourself “Am I in alignment with my intention?”  If the answer is no, take a step back and move towards what is.  If you do that, burnout won’t happen.

Tags: Leadership, energy, Intention
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Recent Comments | 4 Total

May 14, 2008 at 1:32am

Jay Tatum
I appreciate your effort to give voice to an issue that speaks to the role of leadership and the very essence of being a leader. Your comment about high and low achievers is deceptive, though, and I would characterize them a little differently to concur with your point about being in the middle of everything going on. THAT is the real problem in my estimation - being the pivot person in what is characterized as overlapping relationships. Hence, the high achievers (think over-functioners) and low achievers (think under-functioners) places many leaders in the middle of those over-lapping relationships. I agree with your assessment overall that somebody needs a break from the pivotal position of being in the middle of the stressors (think emotional triangles) and as a leader, it is our job to lead and model behavior for others, regardless of whether folks follow. Specifically, this means leaders have to take a more defined, self-differentiating position in the organization, take more responsibilitly for his or her own postion, and no responsibility for the functioning, over or under functioning, of others. The trick, of course, is staying connected to others while letting go. In the social science construct of reality, leaders make the mistake of giving in to the under functioning of the low achievers and end up over functioning to compliment the other's pathology. A more organic approach would be to go the opposite direction and work from a position of strength and not weakness. Simply put, we can't make others more responsible by making them more responsible (and end up over funtioning on their behalf). Further, I appreciate your quote from Thomas Merton. He was a great thinker, author, and presence in an age of transition (Modernity to Post Modernity). This quote in particular has meaning well beyond his intended audience of the time to the present age when we mistaken make the same errors people did at the height of his writings, thinking that our individiual worth is tied to what we do and possess instead of who we are, what we are about, and in that which we believe. It's refreshing to find his words alive and well decades later and it speaks to the very core of who you are and what is important to you, Donna Karlin. Well done.
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May 14, 2008 at 6:16am

Donna Karlin
Thanks for your insightful comment Jay. In my world I speak to the strengths of people and I get more of them. A Coach's primary focus is to help people evolve into their levels of excellence. In my clients worlds, however as they are political leaders, about 15% of the staff is responsible for 80% of the deliverables. You can imagine how quickly they can burn out, so rotation in and out of headquarters is not only a necessity but paramount to the overall well being of the people they impact globally. There are very few in that middle arena as you mention. However in corporate Canada or America, the dynamics are different and it's usually the middle management that is like the sandwich generation of the workplace and they're the ones who burn out faster than anyone else for many of the reasons you mention. I wrote a post on that a ways back. Maybe it's time to do that again! Best.. Donna -- abetterperspective.com executive and political leadership coaching
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May 14, 2008 at 3:20pm

John Agno
Donna, as a leadership coach who works with a number of women executives, I have found that stress and burnout affects women more than men. Here is why: In a woman's brain there will always be more to do. The more stress a woman feels, the more overwhelmed she becomes. There are too many things for her to do before she can relax. The more exhausted she feels, the more urgent it becomes for her to get everything done. Over the years, I have discovered success is powered by three things: know-how, reputation and a network of contacts. The formula for success = your human capital (what you know) times your social capital (who you know) times your reputation (who trusts you). Having knowledge, social capital and trust is the ultimate security blanket in good times and bad. According to stereotype, women are better at developing relationships than men. But that's not true in the corporate world, says Carol Gallagher, author of Going to the Top. Women tend to put their heads down and finish their work, assuming they'll get noticed, she said. "The guys are out playing golf and networking," she says. The men gain valuable connections. They also learn about big-picture strategic issues, knowledge that helps them climb to the top. Women burn out, Gallagher says. It's well-known that women do more housework than men. But women also tend to stay in the office, while men are more likely to be out networking and building connections. "Women are fried, exhausted, at the end of the day, the week, the year," Gallagher says. "The men are having more fun." When a woman allows herself to undertake activities that create oxytocin, her stress levels drop, her sense of being overwhelmed disappears, and her energy returns. Oxytocin is a hormone secreted by the pituitary gland that seems to be involved in reproductive behavior in both men and women, and apparently triggers "caring" behavior. Oxytocin is also the hormone which allows contractions of the womb during pregnancy and labor. When women have plenty of energy, they take great pleasure from their responsibilities. Creating a lifestyle and diet that sustains unending energy by producing plenty of oxytocin is key to lower stress levels.
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May 14, 2008 at 10:18pm

Donna Karlin
Hi John... I'd be interested to see if those are current statistics as in the last couple of years or if they were compiled over a longer period of time. I'm teaching in Washington this week, working with master coaches and it was a topic of conversation around the table. Interestingly enough it seems in some 'worlds' it's a trend, male, female across the board but because numbers of men outweigh women in leadership roles, some of the stats are skewed. I'd be interested in looking at timelines as it was one of the topic of conversations I was having with researchers as well and the data greatly varies depending on geographic location etc. Do you have any more info you could share? I'd love to see it and see how it meshes with what we've been looking at. Many thanks for this! Donna -- abetterperspective.com executive and political leadership coaching
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