7 Laws of Fearless Living

Bud, Have I gotta’ story for YOU! Some years ago when in my third marriage (a secret I doubt), I was in business with my father-in-law. The business; we were Home Improvement Contractor’s. Along with many management responsibilities I, like my father –in-law ran leads; that is, I went into home to sell siding and/or roofing. I’ve been in sales my entire life, but at that time I was in my early 30’s and had much to learn. In home sales was new to me and I had my personal challenges adapting. Let me allay the scenario as a story. I took a lead on a Monday morning, I had of it a hunch it would be sale. I was in sort of a slump. No sales of the last five presentations; my average was one of three. Of course this has happened before. It was Friday evening at closing of our offices when I took the lead for Monday night. All weekend I though desperately of how this one would break the ice. An easy sale, I hoped; we called them “lay-downs.” All weekend I though about the appointment at 7 PM Monday night. They began with optimism but slowly evolved into a mind-set of anxiety. It became an obsession. The pressure I was putting on myself was pressing and difficult to handle. The more I though of it the more convinced I was that I would be wasting my time. I imagined a million objections, high pressure tactics, and an uncomfortable and non-productive result. Sunday night I could hardly sleep. All day Monday I build mental road-blocks. At 6:30 Monday evening I left for the twenty minute drive. The closer I got to my destination the more anxiety I was enduring. Rounding the corner to my appointment I was angry and unhappy to have to sit these people. My word, I didn’t even know them yet I hated them for the non-sale I was about not to make. I knew this was a total waste of time. Angrily I grabbed my case from the back seat, slammed the car door and walked to their front door. I knocked hard; a man answered and I blurted out. You son-of-a-bitch, thanks for nothing! I turned and retreated to my car and went home. Anger, guilt, and disappointment were my companions for the ride home and the following two more weeks of the same poor sales results and escalating anxieties. I called my ‘shrink’ (pardon the reference) and made an emergency appointment. I spoke for the first 30 of my 45 minute time after which Dr. “Intuitive” presented me with a diagnosis. Of it he said I was not unique. That many salespeople allow themselves to slip into this kind of mental regression. A soon as he place a name on what I was dealing with I was able to redirect my focus and become once again positive. Sales, oh well, you can answer that! His diagnosis was “anticipatory anxiety.” I don’t think I need to define those words for you or for that matter, anyone of average intelligence or better. Perception is everything. Since then I live with the following… “A glass is half empty as described by the pessimist; a glass is half full as described by the optimist.” Then I ask, ‘what manner of attitude befits that person who describes the half-full glass as ‘half-full plus a half-glass of potential’; or better yet, ‘a glass void of content is described as a glass full-glass potential’?” - Arnold Sherr Many times, inside-looking-in destructive. Having the wisdom to seek out-siders and asking them to look-in is a better solution. Negativity is as infectious as enthusiasm to the opposite. Believe you can, and you will; believe you can't, you fill in the rest. It is not the fear of the task, the objective, the challenge, or the conquest; it is the loss of or misplacement self appreciation and belief. “As much as negativity travels fast, enthusiasm has no limits; its radiance is infectious and it travels without conscious encouragement.” - Arnold Sherr Regards

Arnold: Thanks for sharing this story. I appreciate your candor. BB

I agree. Last year when my wife and I sold everything we had, quit our jobs, and moved from a 500 acre working farm to Florida to start a new life, we had complete confidence in our abilities to make it work, find a job, and remain positive in the face of everything that would come our way. We've struggled with finding jobs, watched our financial investment in this adventure dwindle, and be challenged by the prospects of failure. Now we could give into the depression that comes from doing something like we've done or we can stay focused on a huge payoff. We are constantly reminded that Walt Disney went backrunpt three times before he finally made it work and he did okay for himself. While we are not competing at that level, the same principles apply and we simply believe that we will make it. After being caught up in the corporate rat race that we left, we'd rather live like we are than return to a lifestyle where we rarely saw each other, spent more time on the job away from the job than on the job, and walk the beach holding hands than emailing each other from remote locations. This doesn't come without challenges, but when you face them head on, embrace them, and make them work for you, you'd be surprised what you can do. Whether it's seven life laws or 21, the key is remaining positive, upbeat, and focused. More power to you, Bud. This stuff works for us.