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Micahel Phelps and Outstanding Peformance

Outstanding performance is one of the keys to success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success.  If you want to become an outstanding performer, you need to do three things: 1) become a lifelong learner; 2) set and achieve high goals; and 3) get organized.

Right now, I can’t think of a more outstanding performer than Michael Phelps.  He has won eight gold medals in the 2008 Olympics.  He has 14 gold medals.  Nobody has won more than nine Olympic Gold Medals; and that includes Olympic legends like Mark Spitz and Carl Lewis.

Jill Koenig is The Goal Guru.  She is a bestselling Author, Coach and Motivational Speaker, and an expert on the subjects of Goal Setting, Time Management and Business Success. Her Goal in life is to help you unleash your untapped potential. You can learn about her cutting edge Goal Strategies at http://www.GoalGuru.com. 

I subscribe to her ezine.  Yesterday, she posted a tremendous article on Michael Phelps.  She has graciously agreed to allow me to post it here.

How You Can Model Michael Phelps' Champion Habits in Your Own Life

By Jill Koenig

Although I had a busy travel schedule this past week, just like millions of people around the world, I was glued to the television every time Michael Phelps took to the water in the Olympics.  Because success leaves clues, I study the best of the best in every sport, business or craft I possibly can, and you should too.

Sometimes in life what separates first place from second place is one point, a fraction of an inch or even a tiny millisecond that requires the most sophisticated technology to measure. Those small gaps define who wears the Gold Medal around their neck, who breaks a world record, who earns millions of dollars in endorsements and who graces the top magazine covers.

You may feel you have nothing in common with Michael Phelps but the fact is that there is a Champion inside you. 

There is a Champion inside you. 

Perhaps your area of passion is being a parent or an entrepreneur or a weekend athlete or a singer or writer... whatever your Goal, you don't have to be a swimmer to unleash it.  All you have to do is apply a few simple strategies to your own pursuits and practice them consistently everyday.

Here are Five Things You Can Do Today to Be a Champion Like Michael Phelps

1. Improve on the Small Things that Make a Big Difference

Phelps was asked how he can break world records, sometimes by a whopping one or two seconds (in swimming this is huge).  His answer was simple and something you can apply to your own life starting today:  Phelps said, "In swimming there are so many little things you can change that really do make a big difference in the end.  We're able to go back to the drawing board and work on the small things that can make a big difference."

What areas of your life can you change some small things that will make a big difference?  Perhaps it is something as simple as going to bed a little earlier, eating healthier, exercising smarter, reading more, advancing your education by taking a class, scheduling regular dates with your spouse and children or getting a Coach to help you improve your efficiency, proficiency and stay on track with your Goals.  Whatever it is, identify those areas and make the change.

2.  Study Other Champions

Phelps was asked what separates those who are gifted from those who performed in clutch moments and won.  Phelps said, "For me when I watch other sports, when I watch Tiger Woods, when I watch Roger Federer, when I watch Rafael Nadal, the best athletes can compete under any circumstances.  No matter what it is, no matter what the pressure, you can always overcome whatever is put in your way."

I have studied top athletes long enough to know that there is an inner game and an outer game that must be harnessed for one to achieve absolute Mastery of a thing.  There are many long hours of practice as well as having the attitude that you will overcome anything that comes your way.  Work on both your inner game and your outer game simultaneously.
Phelps studies Champions in other sports and you should too.  There are always lessons to be learned and applied to your life.

3.  Put Blinders on to Focus Your Energy When it's Time to Perform

Did you notice that prior to entering the water for each race, Michael Phelps was wearing headphones and covered his head with a hoodie?  This was to block out the outer noise and distractions and stay focused on his own predetermined priorities.  He was in his own world, he was in the zone.

We all have those moments when we must perform at our very best.  This could be during a sales call, a workout, a meeting with your boss, a presentation in front of a live audience, etc.  During those times it is important to get yourself into a peak state of focused concentration.  You can do this to begin your day, prepare for a race, get psyched for a workout or any occasion anytime you want.
Phelps listened to Young Jeezy during the World Championships which he dominated. Choose the music that gets you revved up and visualize yourself succeeding in the activity.  Practice positive self talk.  You're the best at what you do. See it.  Go there.  Be it.

4.  Do what you love

Phelps was asked how it feels to be the worlds fastest swimmer.  He said, "I don't think about it like that. I think of it as something I love to do and I am having fun with it."

Champions do what they love and love what they do.  The amount of time it takes to achieve the level where you're competing against the best of the best and come out on top means you must be extraordinary.  To be extraordinary, sometimes you have to give up some of the things normal people do like hanging out with friends, eating fatty fast foods, staying up late and vegging out for hours in front of the tv.  Instead you use those hours to practice and with the hours in between, you treat your mind/body like
the fine tuned, high performing machine that it is.   

Phelps recognized he had the opportunity of a lifetime.
When asked what scarifies he had to make for swimming, he said, "Doing normal high school kid things was something I was willing to give up.  I know I won't have opportunities like this in the sport for the rest of my life."

What areas of your life could you rearrange or re prioritize in order to raise another certain area of your life to new levels?  What could you let go of to make room for the Goals and Dreams you truly desire?

5.  Finish Strong

The race that absolutely left me speechless was the "Miracle Finish" in the race between Phelps and Serbia's Milorad Cavic. In the final seconds, it appeared Phelps would come in second.  In the last few feet at the finish, Cavic coasted to the end while Phelps fought for it with everything he had.  Even when Cavic had the lead, Phelps never gave up.  He fought to the finish.

I wondered how many times in life we go 90% of the way there only to fizzle out or coast at the end.  Regardless of whether you think you have it won or not, give it your all right up to the very end. That's what Champions do.

I learned in working with my Trainers Darin and Cordell, that your greatest growth comes when your muscles burn and fatigue and every sensation is telling you to quit. At first it seems like that's all you have left. But those one or two extra reps AFTER that point are the key.

That extra effort is where the real growth and magic happens.

These few lessons are just some of what I extracted from watching Michael Phelps become the greatest Olympian of all time.  They are things that you and I can easily do every single day if we simply apply them to our lives.

Unleash your inner Champion.

Live Your Dreams,

Jill Koenig

The common sense point here is simple.  Champions, like Michael Phelps do five things especially well.  1) Champions do the small things well and they continually improve on them.  2) Champions study other champions and learn from them.  3) Champions harness their energy and focus when it’s time to perform.  4) Champions love what they do.  5) Champions finish strong.  They never give up.

My thanks to Jill Koenig for today’s guest post.  You owe it to yourself to check out her site www.goalguru.com.  Please leave a comment letting us know what you think of Jill’s thoughts.  She and I value and appreciate your comments.  Thanks for reading – and writing.

Bud

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Keep Your Shoes Looking Good

As I discuss in Straight Talk for Success.  Successful people create positive personal impact.  You create positive personal impact by: 1) building and nurturing your personal brand; 2) dressing for success; and 3) knowing and using the basic rules of etiquette.

I saw an interesting on line article the other day, “15 Style Mistakes You Can Fix Now” by Craig Playstead.  I really liked what he had to say about feet and shoes.

• Match your belt and shoes. If you're wearing black shoes, put on a black belt. And brown shoes demand a brown belt. A good general rule is to never mix the color of your leathers.
• Pay attention to your shoes. You could be wearing $100 jeans with a sharp-looking shirt, but you'll still embarrass your wife or girlfriend with those old loafers that should have been pitched in the 1990s. Buy quality shoes that look smart and stylish. Remember, people check out shoes. Potential employers often will look at them to judge a candidate's attention to detail. Good rule of thumb: Spend your money on shoes, not shirts and pants. Also, match your socks to your shoes (very easy) or at least make sure they are a nice "bridge" from the shoes to the pants. Save the tube socks for the gym and lounging on weekends.
• No socks with sandals. And if you do wear open-toed sandals, keep your feet groomed. Have you even looked down there since last summer? Trust us on this one.
  This is great common sense advice about footwear.  The most important piece of advice, however, is to keep your shoes looking good.  Shine them regularly. 

I buy my shoes at Brooks Brothers.  I have two pairs that are twenty years old.  They have been shined repeatedly and refurbished twice – and they’re beautiful.  I get compliments on them all the time.

After I mentioned the importance of being well groomed in a post last week, I received an e mail from the folks at Kimberly Clark who have a new shoe shine product called “Shine To Go”.  They are going to send me some samples.  I will try them out and keep you posted.

The common sense point here is simple.  Shoes make the man – or woman.  If you want to be seen as someone who dresses well, you need to take care of your shoes.  I suggest that you buy the most expensive shoes you can afford and shine them regularly.  I have found that old shoes take a shine better than new ones.  When you are traveling for business, use the shoe shine products you’ll find in most hotels.  Failing that, wipe down your shoes with some facial or toilet tissue, especially on rainy or snowy days.  Well kept shoes are the sign of someone who cares about his or her appearance.

That’s my take on the importance of maintaining your shoes?  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment telling us about your favorite shoes and how you take care of them.  I appreciate all of your comments.  Thanks for reading – and writing.

Bud

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The Olympics, Michael Phelps and Self Confidence

Have you been watching the Olympics?  I have.  I’ve been blown away by several of the events and performances.  Let’s start with Usain “Lightning” Bolt who won a gold medal and set a world record in the 100 meter dash, while jogging the last 15 meters. 

How about Dara Torres, 41 years old, and winner of the silver medal in the 50 meter freestyle swim?  She is older than the combined ages of the women who won the gold and bronze, Britta Stefan and Cate Campbell.  She lost the gold by one -- one hundredths of a second to Stefan. 

Then there’s Michael Phelps.  Eight races, eight gold medals.  Amazing. 

I always post on self confidence on Mondays.  As I discuss in Straight Talk for Success, self confidence is key to career and life success.  If you want to become self confident, you need to do three things: 1) be optimistic; 2) face your fears and take action; and 3) surround yourself with positive people.

On Friday, I had a conversation with my friend, Peter Julian.  We were talking about self confidence and success.  Peter made an interesting point.  He said that if you want to succeed, you must “be what you want to become.” 

Friday night, after he won the 100 meter butterfly, and tied Mark Spitz’ record of seven gold medals in a single Olympics, Michael Phelps said that he “imagined winning eight gold medals,” and then set up and followed a training regimen to do what he had to do to win eight gold medals.  Right before the Olympics, he zoned in on what he imagined by writing down what he hoped to achieve.  On Sunday, when Bob Costas asked him if he achieved what he had written; his answer was “pretty much, yes.”

What do you think of this?  Have you ever done something similar?  Please leave a comment sharing your story with us.

I believe that all success begins with optimism.  If you want to succeed, you need to be optimistic.  You need to believe that you can accomplish your goals.  You need to visualize or “imagine” yourself  being successful.  The fifth point of The Optimist Creed says, “Promise yourself to think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.”  That’s Michael Phelps did in his pre Olympic preparation.

If you think about it, by his “imagining” statement, Michael Phelps was echoing Peter Julian.  Phelps imagined winning eight gold medals.  Then he became the person who could win eight gold medals.  His lifestyle and training regimen became one of someone who was an eight gold medal winner.

The common sense point here is a little zen like.  If you want to succeed, create a mental image of the person who has the qualities of success you would like to achieve.  Then do the things necessary to become that person.  Michael Phelps created an image of what an eight Olympic gold medalist would look like, and then he did what he needed to do to become that person.  As Peter Julian said to me, you need to “be what you want to become.”  Figure out what you want to become – how you define success.  Determine, in minute detail, how that person would conduct himself or herself.  Then be that person.  Act like he or she would act.  If you do this, just like Michael Phelps, you’ll be on your way to being what you want to great success.

That’s my take on Michael Phelps, optimism and being what you want to become.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment, letting me know what you think of these somewhat esoteric ideas.  Also, please feel free to leave a shout out to your favorite Olympian.

I have The Optimist Creed displayed prominently in my office.  I am so inspired by The Optimist Creed that I’ve created a copy that is suitable for framing.  If you want one, please send an e mail to Bud@BudBilanich.com with the words “Optimist Creed” in the subject line.

Thanks for reading.

Bud

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Mark Twain, Doing the Right Thing and Interpersonal Competence

If you want to become interpersonally competent, you need to do three things. 1) Become self aware. Develop a deep understanding of yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. 2) Build solid, long lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life. 3) Learn how to resolve conflict in a positive manner.

Yesterday, I was driving behind a bus. There was an ad on the back that had this quote from Mark Twain, “Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”

This quote goes to the heart of interpersonal competence – especially your ability to build strong relationships. Interpersonally competent people build relationships by doing the right thing – all the time. They become known as people of high integrity who can be trusted. It’s easier to build relationships when you are seen as someone of high integrity.

On the other hand, Mark Twain makes a sad but true comment on life. He’s saying that integrity is such a rare quality that people are surprised, astonished even, when they encounter it. Acting with integrity can set you apart, and help you be seen as someone who is interpersonally competent.

I love the new ad campaign on personal responsibility by Liberty Mutual. You can see one of these ads here. The latest ad begins with a family at a fairground. The father sees a broken bottle on the ground. He picks it up and throws it in a trash can. A woman who is watching this is moved to help an old man up some steps. Someone observes her and offers a hand to someone else; etc. etc. etc.

These ads always give me a good feeling. Their point is simple: we all can take personal responsibility for making the world a kinder, gentler and better place, and that Liberty Mutual is doing its part to make it so. It’s like what Mark Twain has to say, we are astonished by other people who are direct and truthful, and who go out of their way to help others.

Have you seen these ads? What do you think? Please leave a comment, sharing your impression of them.

As the commercials show, in most cases doing the right thing is not that difficult. Yet when we do, we distinguish ourselves as an interpersonally competent person. And interpersonal competence is an important key to career and life success.

The common sense point here is simple. Do the right thing. In most cases, doing the right thing – whether it’s picking up a piece of trash, allowing someone to cut in front of you in traffic, helping someone who is old and slow, complimenting someone on an achievement, or just saying “thank you” -- is not much more difficult that not doing so. However, when you do the right thing, and act in an interpersonally competent manner, people notice. So do yourself, and others, a favor and do the right thing. You know what it is – so just do it.

That’s my take on Mark Twain and doing the right thing. What’s yours? Please leave a comment letting us know what you think. I value and appreciate all of your comments. Thanks for reading – and writing.

Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in “Straight Talk for Success.”

Bud

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Steve Jobs and Dynamic Presentations

Dynamic communication is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success. If you want to become a dynamic communicator, you need to do three things: 1) develop your conversation skills; 2) learn how to write clearly and succinctly; and 3) develop your presentation skills.

The August 2008 issue of Laptop Magazine has a great article about Steve Jobs’ presentation style. There is some great common sense advice here. I especially like the idea of avoiding bullet points in your talks.

“We’re in a mindset of typing in our notes and showing them to the audience in bullet point format. With this conventional approach, you’re disconnecting yourself from your audience, having them focus on the screen and not you. It’s an unhealthy dynamic when there is confusion about where to look.”

The article goes on to say that Jobs keeps his slides simple and highly visual: one idea, one concept and one image. Words are kept to a minimum: one or two words or a very short sentence.

In other words, when Steve Jobs speaks, people focus on and listen to him; they don’t read his slides. His slides act as a visual reinforcement of what he’s saying.

Are your slides mostly bullet points? Do you find that you have to reduce your font size to get all of your words on your slides? If so, you need to take a lesson from Steve Jobs.

Bullet points make it easier for you to present; they also can make you lazy. Many people think that they don’t have to rehearse. Their bullet points will remind them of what they want to say. This may be true, but it can make for a very boring presentation.

If you go the Steve Jobs route on slides, you have to rehearse. Images that enhance your points don’t act as notes – unless you rehearse. People at Apple say that Jobs spend hours rehearsing his talks out loud. All good presenters do this.

I rehearse my talks in front of a mirror. When I rehearse, I focus on the words I want to say, as well as the gestures I’ll use as I’m saying them and how I will vary my tone of voice. When I am in front of an audience, I feel comfortable because I’ve done my talk before – several times, at home and in my hotel room.

There are two common sense points here. Act like Steve Jobs when you are presenting. Make sure that your slides enhance what you are saying, not compete with you. You can do this by using more images and fewer words on your slides. Second -- rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. It’s only common sense. The more you rehearse, the better you will do when you are in front of an audience.

That’s my take on Steve Jobs presentation style. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your best presentation secrets with us. Thanks for reading – and writing.

It’s my 58th birthday today. To celebrate I’m giving away the eBook version of 4 Secrets of High Performing Organizations. If you want a copy, please send me an e mail at Bud@BudBilanich.com with the words “4 Secrets Birthday Giveaway” in the subject line.

Bud

11:07 am | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment

Oprah's Tips for Getting Organized

If you want to become an outstanding performer, you need to do three things: 1) become a lifelong learner; 2) set and achieve high goals; and 3) get organized.

For some reason, I have a difficult time organizing my work space. My living space is very neat (it always was, even before I got married), but my work space has always been a mess – very cluttered. I am working very diligently on better organizing my work space.

Are you well organized? Or are you disorganized? Leave a comment letting us know what you do to enhance your level of organization.

The September 2008 issue of “O, The Oprah Magazine” devotes 11 pages to an article call “Overwhelmed?” I found some great ideas for reducing the clutter in your workspace and living space.

Here are a few ideas that I particularly like…

• Everything you own should have value to you; because it’s functional or beautiful, or you just love it.
• Every item needs a place where it “lives.” For example, our house keys live on a key hook that looks like a bicycle, right next to the door we use most often.
• Focus on one thing at a time. If you try to do everything at once, you will most likely end up doing a bad job on everything.
• Machines that are broken, just take up space. Throw them away. I have a laptop that needs a new motherboard. It’s been sitting in my office since it blew up due to static electricity on New Year’s Day. It’s going to be recycled as soon as I finish writing this post.
• Books take up a lot of space. Keep the ones you use, and give away or toss the ones you don’t. This is a hard one for me, as I love my books – we have about 5,000. However, even I realize that we cannot keep building new shelves every couple of years.
• Don’t start the mail, unless you have time to finish it. This is another one that is a problem for me. I tend to open mail when I get it. Then, instead of doing what needs to be done with it, I put it aside and come back to it two or three times before I act on it. Very poor personal organization. Don’t do this!
• Throw away photos that have accumulated in a drawer. I really like the advice in the article. “Get a kitchen timer. Sorting through photos leads to reminiscing, and suddenly it’s three hours later.” Decide how much time you want to spend with the photos. Set the timer and quit looking at the photos when it rings.
• Your home and office are not museums. Throw away the stuff you’ve accumulated over the years that has little or no sentimental value. I have mementos of meetings that I attended over 20 years ago. These are going to go. On the other hand, I have three engraved mugs from my rugby playing years. I’m going to keep them.
• Keep your car clean and neat. As the article says, “If you have to clear off the seat for company, there’s a problem.” I’ve always been good about this one – but I know lots of people who aren’t.
• Create folders to help manage your computer. It’s just as important to be organized digitally as physically.

Does any of this advice resonate with you? What are you good at? Where do you need to change your habits? Please leave a comment sharing your best tips for personal organization.

The common sense point here is simple. Outstanding performers are well organized. If you are not well organized by nature, you need to consciously focus on becoming better organized. My friend, Dan Robey, suggests that if you consciously do something positive for 21 days, it will become a positive habit. Once it’s a habit, you won’t have to think about it as much. I agree. You can read more of what Dan has to say at www.ThePowerOfPositiveHabits.com.

That’s my take on outstanding performance and personal organization. What’s yours? As always, I welcome and appreciate your comments. Thanks for reading -- and writing.

Outstanding performance is one of the keys to success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success.

Bud

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Whining Does NOT Create Positive Personal Impact

In Straight Talk for Success, I point out that if you want to succeed in your career and life, you need to create positive personal impact.  You create positive personal impact by building and nurturing a strong personal brand, dressing for success and knowing and following the basic rules of etiquette.

A while back, I came across an interesting article on manners in the workplace.  It began, “The line between what is acceptable and unacceptable is blurring.”  I agree.  When I first joined the working world, things were pretty simple.  Men wore suits and ties.  Women wore suits or dresses.  Cell phones and the internet had not yet been invented. 

Today, it’s different.  The rules are not hard and fast anymore.  “Business casual attire” means different things to different people.  People interrupt face to face conversations to answer cell phones.  Others communicate with people in the next office via e mail or im instead of visiting face to face. 

Etiquette is changing, but one thing remains the same.  I always tell me coaching clients to remember one thing about etiquette – do whatever it takes to make the people around you comfortable, and you’ll be OK.

The article on manners in the workplace listed several things that many people find annoying about their coworkers.  If I were you, I’d avoid all of these things.  As they tend to upset others.

• Singing, humming and whistling while you listen to your iPod.
• Bouncing your legs constantly, or tapping you feet against a chair leg or the floor.
• Interrupting others’ conversations or work.
• Speaking loudly on a cell phone.
• Arguing with your spouse or significant other while at work.
• Eating someone else’s food that is in the office refrigerator.
• Cluttering the office refrigerator with your food containers.
• Taking more than one, when offered a cookie or other treat.
• Bad breath.
• Coughing and sneezing without covering your mouth.
• Coming to work when you are sick and/or contagious.
• Eavesdropping on other’s conversations, and worse yet, commenting on them afterwards.
• Entering others’ work space without being invited.
• Not taking the responsibility to refill the copy paper, printer ink of water cooler.
• Pointing out others’ shortcomings – especially when you don’t acknowledge your own.
• Complaining without offering solutions.

Which one of these is your pet peeve?  Or do you have another one that is not listed here?  Please leave a comment.  I’d like to build a list of things to avoid if you want to create positive personal impact in your workplace.

I don’t like most of the annoying habits listed above.  However, I really hate the last one – complaining without offering solutions.  Most people I’ve asked do too.  No one likes a whiner. 

The common sense point here is simple.  If you want to create positive personal impact, don’t whine.  This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t complain about bad situations and problems in your workplace.  However, when you do, offer a constructive suggestion for how to fix it.  If you do this, you’ll become known as a positive problem solver, not a negative whiner.  And trust me on this, positive problem solvers are 1,000,000 times more likely to create positive personal impact than are negative whiners.

That’s my take on whining and positive personal impact.   What’s yours?  Please leave a comment telling us about kind of co worker behavior what really drives you crazy.  I’ll add it to the list of no-no’s.  I really do appreciate and value all of your comments.  Thanks for reading – and writing.

Bud

09:57 am | 0 recommendations | Be the first to comment

Rebecca Ward, Self Confidence and The Optimist Creed

If you want to become self confident, you need to do three things: 1) become an optimist, 2) face our fears and take action, and 3) surround yourself with positive people.

Have you been watching the Olympics? I find myself getting hooked in every two years. I like it now that the Winter Games don’t happen the same year as the Summer Games. I thought that the opening ceremony on Friday was pretty impressive; particularly the way they lit the torch. What did you think?

On Saturday, I turned on the TV in time to see that three young women from the USA won the fencing saber medals. Mariel Zagunis repeated as the gold medalist, Sada Jacobsen won the silver, and Rebecca Ward won the bronze. After the medal ceremony, Rebecca Ward made a very interesting point that ties directly to optimism.

She said that she was very disappointed when she lost her semi final match, and would not get a chance to compete for the gold medal. But then she quickly realized that she needed to forget about that loss and get her head ready to compete for the bronze medal.

If you read this blog, you know that I am a big fan of The Optimist Creed. I think it is the best statement on optimism that I’ve ever seen. The seventh point of The Optimist Creed says, “Promise yourself to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.”

That’s what Rebecca Ward did. She set aside her disappointment at not having a chance to compete for the gold medal, and pressed on to win the bronze. She could have let her disappointment in losing the semi final match, destroy her opportunity for an Olympic Medal. But she didn’t. She displayed the mental toughness necessary to move on after a defeat.

The common sense point here is simple. If you want to succeed in your life and career, you need to become an optimist. Among other things, optimists are willing and able to put aside setbacks and move forward. That’s what Rebecca Ward did in Beijing. She was disappointed in losing a chance to compete for the gold medal, but she did not let this disappointment stop her from taking advantage of the opportunity she had to win the bronze. Good for her – and good for you, if you follow her example.

By the way, I have created a downloadable version The Optimist Creed. I have it displayed prominently above my desk. Would you like a copy? If so, send me an e mail at Bud@BudBilanich.com and I’ll send you a copy that you can frame and hang in your workspace.

That’s my take on Rebecca Ward, optimism and Olympic Fencing. What’s yours? Please let a comment letting us know. I value every comment I receive. Thanks for reading – and writing.

Self confidence is one of the keys to success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success.

Bud

09:00 pm | 0 recommendations | 2 comments

Treat Everyone You Meet With Dignity and Respect

If you want to become interpersonally competent, you need to do three things: 1) Develop a deep understanding of yourself. Use this understanding to determine how you are similar or different from others. 2) Build strong, lasting mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life. 3) Resolve conflict in a positive manner.

A few days ago, I was in New York City and had dinner with Gary Steele, a close friend. Gary is an interesting guy. He had plenty of opportunities to play major college football, but he chose service and enrolled at the United States Military Academy. He retired after 23 years in the US Army as a full Colonel.

He also played football when he was at West Point. As it so happens, 40 years ago, he played a game at Penn State when I was student there. I saw him play that day. What a day it was. Penn State was the Number 2 team in the country that year. Gary and his mates almost beat us. It took a fluke play at the end of the game to clinch the win for Penn State. By the way, Gary caught eight passes for 156 yards that day.

Over dinner, Gary and I were talking about the importance of treating all people with the dignity and respect they deserve as fellow human beings. That’s what interpersonally competent people do. Later that evening, Gary sent me an excerpt from an 1879 address made by the West Point Commandant, John McAllister Schofield, to the corps of cadets. In part, it reads as follows…

“The discipline which makes the colleagues of a strong organization effective in operations is not to be gained by harsh or tyrannical treatment. On the contrary, such treatment is far more likely to destroy than to make a strong organization. It is possible to impart guidance and to give directions in such a manner and such a tone of voice to inspire in a colleague the feeling of an intense desire to obey, while the opposite manner and tone of voice cannot fail to excite strong resentments and a desire to disobey. The one mode or other of dealing with colleagues springs from the corresponding spirit in the breast of the leader. He who feels the respect which is due to others cannot fail to inspire in them regard for himself, while he who feels, and hence manifests, disrespect towards others, especially his subordinates, cannot fail to inspire hatred against himself.”

General Schofield’s words work for anyone, not just leaders. I love the line “He who feels the respect which is due to others cannot fail to inspire in them regard for himself.” That says it all. Respect others and they will respect you. Strong relationships are based on respect and trust.

The common sense point here is simple. Interpersonal competence is an important key to career and life success. The ability to build strong relationships is a key to becoming interpersonally competent. If you want to build strong relationships with the important people in your life, respect them. Your respect will pay big dividends. As General Schofield points out when you respect other, you cannot fail to inspire high regard for you in them.

That’s my take on interpersonal competence and respect. What’s yours? Have you found that respect begets respect? If so, please leave a comment, sharing your experience with us. I welcome and encourage your comments. Thanks for reading – and writing.

Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success.

Bud